Love Lost Forever Chapter 6 Preview

F or such a small wedding, there’s a lot going on and less than a handful of days left to get it all together. Thankfully, Joc moved some of my client appointments to next week so we can get the dresses for my wedding done. Besides fighting with Joc over wedding details, JaQuese designed gowns for not only herself, but her Aunt Liana, her grandmother Cathy, and her new god-sister Amber, too. She does have a natural talent for design.

JaQuese has an idea of what she wants this wedding to be, which is much grander than what her father and I want, or what we have time for. Sometimes I have to reign her in. Her and Joc would make great partners if it didn’t seem as though they were both fighting for the position that Joc already has. I’ve had to remind him several times that she’s only twelve and he’s the adult between the two of them. At the same time, nothing would be getting done right now if it wasn’t for them.

I sit at my desk looking at a blank sketch page, trying to come up with a design for my dress. It amazes me how I can create designs for others without a problem, for the most part, but when it comes to my own wedding dress, my mind is blank. I mean absolutely nothing is coming to me.

“You still haven’t come up with anything?” Joc asks as he comes into my office. It still amazes me how his tall slim frame just floats so gracefully.

“I think whatever part of my brain that’s responsible for creativity has died,” I respond with a sigh.

“Alise, we have five days.” He puts one of his hands on his hip and the other he flips his long, relaxed hair with.

“I know.”

“Why don’t you get out of the office for a bit. Let inspiration hit you instead of trying to force it,” he suggests.

“There’s so much to do. I can’t just leave.” I toss my sketch pencil onto the desk.

“Go. It doesn’t have to be long. Just get some fresh air and take in your surroundings.” I sit there looking at him like he’s crazy and he returns the look with a raised eyebrow.

“You aren’t going to leave me alone until I go, aren’t you?” I ask.

“You know me well enough to know the answer to that question already.”

I raise my hands in surrender. “Fine. No more than ten minutes, though,” I say begrudgingly. Joc sashay’s out of my office feeling satisfied to have won this one.

A few minutes later I’m heading towards one of my favorite places in my beloved city of Flint, the Farmer’s Market. The sun is warm, and a gentle breeze softly moves my wild hair. I love summers in Flint. Everything is just so lively.

After buying tea and salad inside, I take a seat at one of the umbrella tables on the patio. Even during the middle of the day on a weekday, the market is busy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it slow since they moved to this location a few years ago. It’s hard to believe that this was the place the local newspaper was once printed.

I sit and watch people going in and out of the market while I eat my food. As I sit, I notice a little girl with a plastic tiara, that could be no older than three, take a thin blanket out of the diaper bag next to her mother and wrap it around her. She takes the tiara off her head and tries to stretch it across her chest to secure her blanket wrap dress. Of course, the tiara snaps and, of course, she immediately starts crying, but just then, the vision of my wedding dress comes to me. I put the top on my salad and speed walk back to Timeless Elegance.

***

“How long have you been back?” Joc asks, walking into my office again today.

“About an hour or so,” I answer barely looking up. “That little bit of time away from here was just what I needed. Thank you”

“Mmhmm,” Joc says as I pass the sketch pad over to him. “This is perfectly you.”

“Thanks. I’ll have the ladies get started on it in the morning.”

“Oh no, you won’t! I’m sewing this myself.”

“Joc, you’ve been working on my wedding all day.”

“And I’m going to keep working on your wedding until it’s over with,” he says in a tone that tells me I should know better. “And, just so you know, the officiant you found can’t do this Saturday, but I’ve already found a replacement.”

“Are you serious? Who is the replacement and how'd you get them so fast?” I ask.

“There are some secrets I have to keep from even you,” Joc says with a wink as he walks out of my office with the sketch of my wedding dress in his manicured hand.

“Well, I guess I’ll work on something else,” I say to no one. I pick up a stack of papers to start filing away in the pastel cabinets to the left of my desk. Not much later, JaQuese walks into my office.

“Momma Lise,” she says. I swear she changes her version of “mom” everyday but “Momma Lise” seems to be sticking.

“Hey, Quese. I was just going to come looking for you. There’s a salad in my mini-fridge if you want it,” I say pointing to the black cube in the corner of my office.

“I’m good. I ate my packed lunch and Ming shared some of her food with me.”

“Ming?”

“Yeah, something she called Buddha’s Delight. It was really good. She’s nice. She’s been showing me how to do different types of stitches by hand and on the machine.”

“Ming Li?” I ask again. She has got to be talking about the wrong person because Ming is one of the stubbornness and meanest people I know, and I can’t say that I know her very well. She barely looks up to say hi and does very little socializing with anyone here. All I know is she came here decades ago with her very young son after her husband left her. Her son died years later in the Air Force. It’s just her and she chooses to not get close to anyone.

“Yes. Is there something wrong with her?” JaQuese asks, now getting concerned by my questioning.

“No, she’s fine. I’m just shocked is all. I wouldn’t have expected that from her.”

“Well, she likes working here and she likes you a lot. She said you are the best person to teach me how far hard work and dedication could take me.”

“She said that!”

“Yeah,” JaQuese says with a giggle. I nod my head, but I’m still in disbelief because that sounds nothing like the woman that’s worked for me since I opened this shop three years ago. “Have you come up with a design for your dress yet?” she asks.

“I finished it not too long ago. Joc has it now,” I respond. “He’s going to sew it himself.”

“He won’t before letting me see it first!” she exclaims with a roll of her neck and charges out the door and right to Joc’s office. I don’t even try to stop her, but when I hear the rumblings coming from Joc’s cubicle, I regret it. They’ve both been a blessing when it comes to this wedding, but I cannot wait until it’s over with.

I page over the work studio for Ming to come to my office. I see the two other seamstresses, Lori and Kim, turn and look at each other, trying to figure out why Ming is being called by their boss lady. “Yes, Ms. Rogers,” Ming says when she comes in.

“Have a seat please.” I motion to one of the white chairs on the other side of my mahogany desk. She quickly sits. “I want to thank you for the time you’ve spent with JaQuese today. It’s meant a lot to her and to me.”

“She’s a good girl.” I smile and look towards Joc’s office where JaQuese currently is.

“Yes, she is.”

“I see a lot of you in her. That ambition and drive,” she says with a big smile. “Teach her, so she can keep this place alive after you are gone.”

This really hits me. Timeless Elegance is less than a handful years old. I’ve not given any thought to stepping away from it or what will happen to it upon my death. I think I just assumed it would still be here somehow. Given recent events, like my former best friend trying to kill the twins I’m carrying, my death could be as untimely as ever. “Hmmm.”

“This is your legacy. Let it be hers, too.”

“If JaQuese wants it.”

“She does. She told me herself. She will make you very proud.”

“Like your boy made you proud?” I ask cautiously. Maybe I can use the mom thing to connect with her a bit more. Besides Joc, she’s my longest employee and yet I know her the least.

“Oh, yes.” There’s a hint of sadness in her eyes. “All my Ben ever wanted to be was a fighter pilot. Take down the bad guys. And he died doing just that. I couldn’t be more proud. You’ll know the feeling watching your daughter grow up.”

“Thank you, again. For your time with her and your words to me. And for not calling her my step-daughter.”

“She’s your family and you are hers. No step nonsense,” she waves her hand in the air. “Is that all?” she asks, always never one to be derailed from work.

“Yeah, that’s all.” I watch Ming walk back to her sewing station with a new fondness and appreciation for her. “Maybe she’s not so mean, after all,” I say to myself.

⃰ ⃰ ⃰

“How was your first day in the fashion industry?” Jaylen asks his daughter as we sit at the dining table having tuna burgers and sweet potato fries for dinner.

“Oh, Daddy it was more than I ever dreamed! I’ve never seen so much beautiful fabric before in my life,” JaQuese says with an excitement that only she could project. As she goes on, her brothers make eye contact with me from across the table and roll their eyes. I smile at them and silently tell them to stop. I look over at Jaylen, who’s sitting at the head of the table to my right, as he is attentively listening to his daughter, and I suddenly realize how wrong I am for not actively listening to her, too. “And Momma Lise’s dress,” JaQuese squeals just as I refocus my attention back on the little lady to my left.

“Quese, you can’t tell your father about my dress! It’s a secret,” I say to her while nudging her.

“Oh, I know it’s a secret,” she says with a smile that makes me think her and Joc are up to something.

Jaylen jumps in before I can ask her about it. “So, do you think fashion is something you want to do now?”

“I want to do it more than ever,” JaQuese replies with a beam.

“Alright. We’ll work on that,” Jaylen says as he puts his hand out for mine. I give it to him. He stares into my eyes while giving my hand and gentle squeeze and rub as a silent thank you.

All that keeps playing in my head is him saying “we’ll work on that.” We’re getting married in a few days and the whole “we” and the instant family thing still takes me by surprised. I don’t know what’s going to happen with Calondra but I’m suddenly asking myself something I should have figured out when I found out Jaylen was planning to propose.

Am I ready to be their mother?

It’s one thing to parent your child, but it’s another thing to be a parent to someone else’s children. The realization that I now have three kids with two on the way panics me. Jaylen must can tell that something is going on in my head because he squeezes my hand. I look up at him, trying to hide my worry. He creases his brows, silently asking me what’s wrong.

“I need to use the bathroom,” I whisper to him with a forced smile. I get up and quickly make my way to the master bathroom. I sit on the floor Indian style with my back against the steps of the tub and try to slow my heart rate by taking a few deep breaths. It helps a little but not enough. Getting on my feet, I start pacing the bathroom floor. After what seems to be an eternity, Jaylen enters the bathroom and softly closes the door behind him.

“Talk to me,” he simply requests. He leans his tall muscular body against the door. His bald head shines in the bathroom light.

“I’m a mother of five,” I state while touching my stomach.

“Yeah.” His calmness only seems to increase my level of panic.

“Jaylen, I’m a mother of five,” I repeat. “Just a short few months ago, I was only a godmother. I had no real parental responsibilities to Amber. Now I’m suddenly responsible for five.”

“It’s a big change for you in a short amount of time.”

“It’s a huge change!” My husband-to-be stands against the door, his mahogany eyes look at me like they’re waiting for me to have some type of epiphany. “What?” I snap.

“Why don’t you realize you aren’t parenting alone?” he asks in a hushed tone.

“What?” I ask again, but calmer this time.

“Why don’t you realize you aren’t parenting alone,” he repeats. “Yes, you’re instantly a mom, but at the same time, we instantly have a large family. There will be seven of us soon. I’m here with you. You’re not doing any of this alone.”

I stand there looking at him, debating on whether to kiss him or slap him. Though he is right, he also doesn’t completely get it. How could he? He’s never been in a similar situation as I’m right now. But I take comfort in him trying to reassure me. Now onto my next concern.

Things are great now, but what’s going to happen once Calondra gets out of jail?” I ask.

“Well, I have full custody of all three of the kids until the judge says otherwise. I know she’ll try to get JaQuese back once she gets out but given our history, her violating the restraining order, and the fact that Quese is now old enough in the eyes of the court to say who she wants to live with, I doubt she’ll be getting her back. Plus, we will be married by then. Our home will be more stable, more of a complete family than what Calondra can provide,” Jaylen explains.

“She isn’t going to make it easy for you or the kids.”

“Or you,” Jaylen adds.

“She can’t hurt us. Any of us,” I say.

“No, she can’t. We’re a family.”

It’s in this moment that I not only get what Jaylen was saying to me about not being alone but, I realize what my fear really is. Being an only child, my parents divorcing and then dying, I’m so used to being alone all the time. My friends became my family, but I was still only responsible for me. My life was full, but unless Joc or Charlie spent the night, I was alone in my home. Always alone in my bed.

I’m not alone anymore. I would never be alone again. I’m not doing this or anything else by myself anymore. “I don’t know what it’s like to not be alone,” I say.

He doesn’t respond immediately. His expression softens to look remorseful and sympathetic. “I know I’m partly to blame for that, leaving you like I did years ago. I’ll never be able to make up for the time we lost, but every day, from here on out, I’ll show you what it’s like to always have someone there. You’ll become comfortable with it and love it if you allow yourself to let go of your fear.”

I let his words sink in and wash over me. It’s amazing the peace they bring because I trust him with my life. I didn’t think it was possible, but my love for Jaylen just grew one hundred-fold. And I want him.

Now.

I close the distance between us as fast as I can, and I jump up into his arms. He catches me and our lips meet with a ferociousness not even lions on the hunt can meet or exceed. With one arm around my back and the other in my hair, Jaylen pulls me closer to him, deepening our kiss.

Our tongues perform an electrified tango as our breathing becomes heavy. We both dig our nails into each other. I can feel him hardening through his pants. I bite his lower lip and he moans deeply into my mouth. He starts walking, letting go of my hair to open the shower door.

Without ever taking his lips off mine, he carries me into the shower, turns the water on, and holds me under the large overhead showerhead. The water is cold at first and makes me squeal as a shiver goes down my spine.

Jaylen loosens his hold on me just enough for me to slide down his body until my feet are on the wet tile shower floor. We begin to peel each other's clothes off of one another. They all just get tossed to the sides of the oversized shower.

Now completely naked, Jaylen puts both of his hands on either side of my head, and he looks intently into my eyes. He doesn’t say a word, but I can hear him completely. I communicate back to him the same way. We’ve never said, “I love you,” “I need you,” “you are mine,” “this is forever,” louder and as direct as we are in this complete silence now. Our silence.

I lift onto the tips of my toes and Jaylen bends down to meet my lips. Everything we were just saying with our eyes we’re now saying to each other through our kiss and touch. Jaylen moves forward, forcing me to walk backward until my back is against the cobblestone shower wall. He slowly kisses and licks his way down my neck and chest.

He takes one nipple into his mouth, sucking it while he pinches and rolls the other nipple between his thumb and finger. My nipples grow and become hard as rocks. I arch my back to push my breasts deeper into his mouth and hand while biting my lip and moaning in pleasure. He alternates his mouth and hands on each of my nipples.

“Fuck, Daddy,” I moan. I’m ready to burst. I need him inside of me now. I grab his head with both hands and try to direct him back up so that I can turn around, but he grabs my wrists and holds them behind my back with one hand. I whimper my disappointment.

“Shhhhhh,” Jaylen says. “Easy baby. Not yet.” While still holding my wrists, he continues his journey south, gently kissing, licking, and nibbling my stomach, belly button, and mound. He parts the lips between my legs with his nose and with incredible patience and intensity, he licks my magic button.

“Aahhhh!”

Releasing one of my wrists, Jaylen pats the back of my thighs, just under my butt. I lift one leg and put it on his shoulders and do the same with the other leg. I keep my shoulders pressed firmly against the shower wall as Jaylen stands with me on his shoulders. The shower wall and his grip on my wrists help me to keep my balance.

He slowly devours me, like I’m his favorite dish that he has to savor for as long as possible. He wraps an arm around and over my thigh and uses his hand to pull up the flesh of my mound, opening me up to his tongue even more.

Jaylen has eaten my pussy plenty of times before but never quite like this. My moans sound like gibberish. The quakes of my body could create a tsunami. The cobblestone digs into my shoulder blades as I press against it. My toes point like those of an exquisite ballerina. Jaylen torments me with deliberate slow licks and gentle sucks.

“Look at me,” Jaylen orders, his words muffled in the flesh of my sweet spot.

My eyes immediately meet Jaylen’s when I open them. He doesn’t have to say it. I know what he wants from me. As his submissive and the woman he loves, who am I to deny him? My body is so programmed to him, I couldn’t deny him if I tried.

While holding our eye contact, I cum. It’s a hard and long one. Jaylen’s grip on my wrist and hip tightens to keep me from falling off him. His measured licks and suckles make the orgasm go on for what seems like forever. My nipples harden even more as I continue to shatter. He refocuses his attention to my dripping wet slit, moving his tongue in and out and around. I move my hips slowly and start to ride his tongue. It isn’t as big as his dick, but damn does it feel good.

Leveraging myself against the shower wall, I start to move my hips faster. “Fuuuuuuck,” I let out in a heavy whisper, throwing my head back against the cobblestone.

The mist from the various shower heads kisses me all over my skin. The urge to cum again begins to build. The stronger it becomes, the faster my hips move. Just when I start to orgasm again, Jaylen sucks hard on my clit, making the orgasm even stronger than it initially was going to be. I cry out my delight and shiver in his hold. I can feel the juices flowing from me and onto his chin.

When I look down at Jaylen again, I can barely see him. The steam is dense. He bends down to put me back on my feet. I wrap my arms around his neck and our tongues perform their favorite dance with each other. I love the taste of me off him.

When he starts to feel me lowering my body so I can service him, he wraps his arms tightly around my waist. “Daddy,” I plea.

“No. I need to be inside of you,” he responds. Those words send electricity down my body, straight to my pussy. Jaylen turns me around and presses my chest into the cobblestone shower wall with one hand in between my shoulders. With his other hand anchoring my hips, he slowly slides his big, throbbing dick into my slit.

“Fuck,” he exhales. He moves in and out of me at an excruciatingly slow pace. I want to cum now, so I start to grind against him to encourage him to pick up the pace. “Don’t you fucking move,” he says through gritted teeth. “I know what we need, and we need it like this.”

“Daaaaddyyy,” I protest in a quiet moan.

“Daddy knows best, kitten,” Jaylen responds.

That word. That pet name, kitten. It melts me. Quickens me. Makes my orgasm go from building to immediately imminent. My entire body starts to shake as the orgasm pulses through me. I mutter something that’s incoherent to even myself. I love being this lost in Jaylen, this lost in us. This is my favorite place to be.

I can feel Jaylen getting harder and harder with each stroke. He bends down so that his mouth is right by my ear. His breath on my neck heightens my senses there.

“I love you,” Jaylen whispers as he wraps his arms around me.

“I love you, too,” I reply.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jaylen states.

“I know.”

“Do you?” he asks. I can hear the concern in his voice. It makes me well up with emotions.

“Yes, I do,” I reply back with a cracked moan.

“You have nothing to fear,” he says as his grip tightens on me. I moan. “You have nothing to fear,” Jaylen repeats a little more forcefully. His thrusts, although still slow, are a bit more forceful too, further driving in his point.

“I know now. I know.” Tears fall from my eyes, mixing in with the steam and sweat.

“Don’t. Ever. Forget. That,” he says in between strokes and kisses on my neck and shoulder.

“Never,” I whisper. Jaylen was right. This is exactly what we needed. I was freaking out and pulling away. He needed to bring me back. To reassure me. To protect me and us from me.

This is why he’s my Daddy Dom. As he said, Daddy knows best.