BDSM and the law


Last week, I discussed BDSM and Black people, and public perceptions, dispelling the myth that Black people don’t get into BDSM. This week I want to discuss another aspect of why kinksters do not openly announce their kinkiness. It has to do with the law.

Outside of public judgement, the number one reason why BDSM lifestylers do not share with others that they are indeed part of the lifestyle is because of the law. Some acts, especially those that fall under impact or bondage play are scene as abuse and/or kidnapping, and therefore can’t possibly be consensual.

I understand the concept of said laws, but abuse is abuse. BDSM is not abuse. I touch on this in my second novel, Love Lost Forever, when Alise finds herself having to explain BDSM to her oldest son.

If a couple is having an intense play session and the bottom (for this example is female because that’s what I know) and she starts bleeding heavily because she’s anemic or her blood just doesn’t clot the way it should. She may not know of her condition prior to play. When the Top/Dominant takes her to the hospital, she’ll be bleeding and bruised from play. The hospital, per their protocol, will call the police and take pictures. In that moment, the police will have all the evidence they need to give to the DA’s office to charge the Dominant with assault and battery. They don’t need the submissive to press charges and she most likely will be turned away by the DA when she tells them it was consensual and to drop the charges. They will think she’s an abused victim either too weak to see her “abuser” for what he is or that she has Stockholm’s syndrome.

There are a number of things couples can do to prevent this, and I may discuss that in a later post. But examples like the above happen more often than you may think and unfortunately, by the time they get to the hospital, it is already too late for the Dominant.

This is another reason why BDSM folks are quiet about it like the plural marriage practicing Mormons in Utah (and other states in the USA). The law is not favorable towards them.

That’s this week’s discussion. To pick up a copy of my books, click on Shop in the menu at the top or head over to Amazon.

Until next time!